Kindergarten Kalamity
The first time I can remember anything to do with what I now know as ADHD was in Kindergarten. The class had an assignment to make a chain with cut links of construction paper glued together. After starting over a couple of times, I fell behind trying to make mine perfect. Feeling the added pressure, I felt my heart rate and breathing increase. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I so wanted to do well, to be singled out. Then the warning came, "Ten minutes left." What?! I panicked. How did I lose track of time? I didn't even have one of my links glued! I got frustrated. I mean, really, frustrated.
I gritted my teeth; tears blurred my vision. I lowered my head so as not to be seen, ashamed. "Time's up!" My half-finished paper link chain was a complete mess, as was I. Elmer's Glue everywhere. I remember a student asking, "Is that yours?" I can still remember his sly smile to this day. A simple art project had become one of the worst days of my young life. Starting for perfection, finishing with, well, I didn't finish. I had failed miserably, causing myself great embarrassment. It would be part of a class display for everyone to see. As I rode home in the back seat, I remember staring out the window, thinking, what the hell just happened? Unfortunately, there would be many more unsettling experiences to try to help me figure it out.
I can now look back at this experience and laugh at the humor my classmates saw. But I undoubtedly wasn't laughing then. I see the sensitivity so common in ADHD. I see the poor emotional regulation, the devastating self-loathing. There is temporal discounting, which is the inability of the ADDer to gauge time adequately, hyper-focusing on a task unaware of the world around them. The added stress I put on myself caused an increase in the hormone cortisol, which is fine for fighting or fleeing but not for the executive functions of focus, self-control, working memory, and time management.
In retrospect, I look back on a life filled with similar experiences, from childhood to middle-aged adult. I had difficulty finding professional help. Now, it is easier to find someone to diagnose you with ADHD, but not nearly as many truly understand the disorder. We have learned so much in the past 20 years. The future is so bright it burns the eyes.
One of the areas which needs changing is the name itself. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) labels us as deficient. Why is it looked like a "disorder"? Why isn't it just different? Or take it one step further. Why can’t it be looked at as an incredible gift? The attention is not at a deficit; it is hyperfocused on an area of great interest. ADDers are known for their being innovative and creative. It is an overabundance of attention that is not a deficit! What are the possibilities for those with ADHD if the hyperfocus is placed on an area of great passion? Then you get Sir Richard Branson, Justin Timberlake, Justin Beiber, Michael Phelps, Emma Watson, and many others who have a diagnosis. Many speculate Walt Disney, Da Vinci, Galileo, Mozart, John Lennon, and JFK had it as well.
From the frustrated, struggling little kindergartener of the 1970s to the present day, we have come an awful long way. The problem is the new knowledge about the disorder has not made it to so many who really need it. We know so much more, but widespread help has not arrived. This is where Grey Wolf Coaching comes into play. The new information is nothing short of life-changing. I partner with you, learning how you uniquely understand, learn and think, then create a plan based on your unique strengths. What was considered by many to be our most significant liability suddenly becomes our greatest asset.